It's funny when I meet a new person, and they find out I am new to the area, they always ask where I am from. This is a weird question for someone who moved their whole lives. My answer usually goes something like this: "Ummm...Houston, kinda; Dave and I met in Bartlesville. I lived there the longest. I also lived in Anchorage. But I lived in Kansas twice too. Topeka-ish? No, really Oklahoma. I think." (Their response: "Wha? Where's Battlersville? Are your parents in the Army?)
Every time I've moved, whether it was across the country, or across a large city, there was a new culture to learn. Every moving experience has always been exciting and frightening. Getting to know new people is always the hardest. It's uncomfortable to start up a relationship with someone when you can't really tell them you don't like the town they call home. Or that you think they seem nice, but that you really just miss living by your mom and dad, and it kinda hurts to talk about it.
Moving also forces you to ask yourself basic questions like: Where do people get their groceries? What are the elementary schools like? How far is that from our church? How will we connect with a new church body? Will my talents and God-given gifts be accepted at our new church, or will there already be a ministry fulfilling that role? If there is, will they allow me to use my gifts too? What kind of house will we live in? How will people view our family? Will people visit us if we live here? Are the neighbors welcoming, or are they the type of people who keep to themselves? ---People, questions like these and moving can make a person really, really LONELY.---
You wanna know something I realized today? As I was texting with a friend who just moved from North Dakota to Mississippi, I realized that there aren't really many ministries out there for people who move frequently. Sometimes you get lucky, and you move to a great place, like North Dakota, and the people are really welcoming. But for the most part, this doesn't happen. Usually people continue on with their previously established relationships and allow new people to sit on the sidelines. And for a new person, the separation (that comes from people not including you) feels tangible. The wonderful people who have ministered to me the most in times of relocation are the people who have invited me and my family into their homes while understanding some shyness on my part. As well as some of our neighbors who brought us goodies. (Advice Alert: Even though including a new person into your conversations, neighborhood or home can be a bit awkward, it's important that you and I do just that anyway.)
(And, unless you are moving due to a vocation in ministry, there aren't a lot of ministries that people who move a lot can take part in either. It takes so long to allow people to see your heart and allow you to start doing ministry with them. (We had just been blessed with the opportunity to teach in a Sunday School class for the last 6 months that we lived in Houston.) Maybe God will lead me to write a Bible Study for people who take a similar path to the "40-year roaming Israelites" and apply it their own crazy lives.)
I wrote this post today in reflection of some emotions from going through a move recently myself, and hurting for a friend who is going through one too. And, I wanted to encourage those of you who might read my blog:
Go invite someone you don't know well to lunch! Take your new neighbors a cookie...or a salad. Try to think what it would be like to be them. If you know someone who moved away, text them. Call them. Write them a letter. Check in on them. Let others know you are praying for them. Because they are probably hurting. (Especially if they are a mom.) Be a blessing to someone today.
Lord knows I pray that I can be one too. -Amber
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